I got to thinking today about ex’s. We all have them and most of them we can keep safely in the past. But there is at least one that we all have that somehow leaves imprints on your heart forever. Mine popped back into my life the other day out of the clear blue sky.

This was the one, the one that stole my heart, the one I thought I would be with forever. Forever got a lot shorter… We have been broken up for over a year and I was mistakenly under the impression that he was a distant memory. I was wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, I have dated several people since him. That’s what “they” tell you to do…It is somehow supposed to help you get over the one. “They don’t call it a rebound for nothing…it isn’t just a catchy title. It works for awhile, but somehow the thoughts creep back in like a thief in the night. Stealing all your sanity. Those thoughts ruin any chance for being happy with anyone else. Might be a great guy, drives a nice car… it doesn’t matter. All you end up doing is comparing him to the one you want to be with.

I actually dated a guy right after him because he looked kind of like him. Yes, sad to admit, but it is true. The Rolling Stones said it best, “When you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with. The next guy I dated, I met in a nightclub in Scottsdale. I really did like him, but I knew he was moving soon so it was just a fun few months before he moved. Then like old habits, the one makes his way back into my thoughts.

The frustrating part of it all is that they know somehow, not to make any kind of contact until they know you are over them. How do they know? I think they can smell it. Like you have gotten too far away and they can’t hear your heart beating anymore. Do they do this just to ensure that they aren’t becoming too distant of a memory? My question is can you miss your fate? Questions run through your mind. Maybe if we had met earlier things could have worked out? Maybe if circumstances were different, we would still be together. Whatever the case may be, it is not written in the stars for us. .. or any ex we have ever had.

I have to keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. If we were meant to be, then we would be. There is a reason certain people don’t make it to your future. Figuring out the reason may be a bit harder.

I like the idea that they came into my life for a reason. Taught me something, made me smile, made everything right with the world for awhile. That is enough to know I would never change anything about my past relationships. They will always hold a place in my heart. As time goes on, that space becomes smaller, allowing for someone knew to fit too.

In the meantime, I will continue with my old habits…spending time with friends, and dating new people. And wonder with each new date, is this the one that will stand still with me for awhile?