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I just got dumped by the same man,
for the third time.
You know the saying, “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”.
I wonder what the saying is for the third time? Of course, most people probably learn after the first or second time.
I am just a slow learner when it comes to matters of the heart. One thing I now know for sure, is that when
a person shows you who they are, believe them. The sadness I feel now is not because he is gone, but because I should
have known better. I did know better!
Why is it that with matters of the heart, all common sense goes right out
the window? Broken hearts heal. I have had enough of them to know. Getting through the day is not hard. I have work
to keep me busy, friends to occupy my time, but the nights…the sleepless nights. My mind will not stop questioning
and analyzing every little detail of every moment. I have a horrible memory most of the time, why do I feel the need to open
the flood gates of every memories forgotten while I toss and turn in my bed? So many why’s and what if’s.
I know that I will never know the answers to any of my questions. But when someone makes promises, they should be
impeccable with their word. Especially when a person you claim to love is involved. I think the hardest thing to get
over is the day to day stuff, wanting to talk to him, the calls, the texts. That was so much a part of my life. Like this
morning someone finally won the jackpot on the radio station we had been trying to win. I wanted to see if he heard that too.
I didn’t just lose a boyfriend, I lost a friend. And that to me is the saddest part.
This break up is different
tho. I am sad to see it end, but I am finally ready to close this chapter on my life. I am finally seeing him without
my rose colored glasses. He tried to tell me all along who he really was. I wanted to believe he was better. I believed in
us for so long, but he never believed in himself (or us). All the little untruths just added up to the same untruths
that were there all along. Once my heart is healed I will tuck him away in the back corner somewhere. I wish him
the best of luck on his “journey”, and all I ask is that he close the door on his way out of my life…
Cheers,
Fruit Fly
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