Can someone please tell me, are the stars not aligned correctly these days?

Maybe it is the cooler weather making people a little crazy, but it seems that everywhere I go someone is telling me that their once blissful relationship is on the rocks.  It is times like these that I completely empathize but am secretly happy that I am single and don’t have this particular stress to worry about. 

Not that being single gets me off that easy.  As a friend and confidante there are certain things that are in the “friend” rule book.  I must lend an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry, wine to drink, chocolate to eat, and finally a sofa to crash.

It is a little trickier when I am friends with both parties involved.  I remember when my gay husbands were together.  They have since broken up and have moved on, but for years it was me and my two gay husbands.

In fact I spent so much time with them that I actually had my own “bed in a box”.  What is this you may be asking…It is a leather box ottoman that opens up for storage.  Inside the box were a blanket and a pillow.  I didn’t require much more then that at the time because I was usually pretty twisted and just needed a place to drop. 

Toward the end of their relationship they used to fight all the time.  At first I did not know how to handle the situation because I never wanted to take sides.  I came up with a great solution; when they would get into a fight, it was the first one who called me that I came to the rescue.

I would swing by, pick them up and take them to the closest bar.  My therapy sessions were better than any you would pay for, I may not have all the answers, but my therapy came with a healthy dose of alcohol.

I remember one occasion, we went to Risky Business.  We ordered Martini’s.  After two, my gay said that he was not feeling anything.  We had the brilliant idea to drink them through a straw.  Needless to say, after a couple more, we forgot why we were there in the first place and proceeded to have a fabulous time.

I’ve also learned that being a fruit fly means keeping your mouth shut and not taking sides during an argument between the gays.  They just need a good friend and someone to say, “Can we have another round?”

 cheers, Fruit Fly