I got to thinking today how fabulous and unique my relationship is with my best friend. Me, being straight and him being gay allows for a whole new dynamic. We have been best friends for six years and have lived together for most of that time.

We lovingly call each other the gay husband and straight wife. It is especially nice when he is dating someone because then I get two husbands for the price of one. In fact, I told my mother that the other day when she asked me when I was going to meet a nice boy and settle down. My quick response was, "I found a nice boy, two in fact. Congratulations, mom, you get two son-in-laws for the price of one!"

In fact when he was with his previous boyfriend I complained because we would always say we were married but I got the raw end of the deal at the end of the night when we would come home from the bars and they would go off to share a bed and I would be stuck on the couch. They decided one day to make me really happy by surprising me with a vibrator. I was a happy girl, and still am.
 

One day my best friend and I were at the mall. We know each other so well, that when we see a hot guy we don’t even have to say anything. We just give one another a look and we both know exactly what we are thinking.

We were walking by Abercrombie (who doesn’t like walking by that store) The smell of cologne wafting out the door, the hot *Twinkies standing in the doorway with their shirts off….Yum!

Before we knew it, we had gathered a following of young girls that wanted to walk by the entrance and giggle with us. After we wiped the drool off our faces and put our tongues back in our mouths we parted with our new found admirers and we were off to Banana Republic.

The two of us were shopping around and an old high school friend of his came up to us and asked him if I was his girlfriend. Both of us were really taken aback because people know of us and usually know that he is gay and I am straight.

In a low voice he said, "Sweetie, I play for the other team." I heard that and decided it was the perfect time to embarrass him. I threw my bag on the floor and yelled, " I am so sick of you telling everyone you are guy! Are you that embarrassed to be going out with me?!"

Movement in the store came to a screeching halt. Everyone stopped and stared, as I stomped my feet and marched out of the store. I could hear him following behind me laughing so hard.

Outside of the store, as we were laughing, a couple walked by us and were arguing. My best friend said, " I am so glad we never fight like that." My prompt reply was, "It’s because we are not having sex. We actually check out the same people."

The uniqueness that this relationship brings is the ability to always be yourself, to lighten up. You never have to worry about doing or saying something wrong. This love is unconditional. With a gay best friend, you always have a soft spot to land….

Cheers, Fruit Fly

*Definition of Twinkie – Term for a young gay boy that older men and woman think are hot, and would be fun to “eat up” for awhile, but is regarded as not being very smart…just full of cream.  They are normally found at the mall or hanging outside the gay bars waiting to be picked up at the end of the night.